nothing's gonna take me down.

okay. enough about the complaints. am gonna make this A GOOD LIFE.

Like Jenny said:
"I will be fine, I am hardcore."

somebody's just not me

i figured it's not easy, life down the path. i've seen 'em, been with 'em, those before me.
it's hard to make priority now, cuz i would give up anything just to let myself loose.
tell me, if you'd know the future

Needs A Charm ♥

Gonna sit for my very 1st professional paper soon !!!

Currently, still procrastinating & thinking of what to wear to Cuzzie's big day 2ml !!!
A lil' over-excited & enjoying the blessings & loves when all the family members
gather altogether & get prepared for her !!! Am seeing REDS everywhere !!!
♥ Wish Me Luck ♥

she's in her holiday mood ♥

One more week and the fish's heading to Perth, yeahuuu ^^
I can't wait to take this break, I miss all of you in Perth !!!

Hope everything goes smoothly these few days &
I'll be able to travel worries-free !!!

Meantime, Company's having this Moon Cake festival get-together
steamboat + BBQ party on the 19th, though planning stuffs have & always
been my unfavourite part of the job, am still very much looking forward to the night !!!
Haven't really talk about my colleagues before, here's some recent photos of us in karaoke ~
It was a great night !!! I would really love another karaoke night again !!!
There's really no better colleagues in this whole wide world than these whom I have now,
they make gloomy audit days brighter, and quiet office much merrier =)
Here's Siaw Hui (who is leaving soon, but we'll definitely be missing your crazy moments =)),
and Tiong Yi ~ my neighbour + bestie in the office !!! She's a super nice fren &
will never fail to lend you that much needed helping hands whenever you
call out to her !!! Girl, you wouldn't know how grateful I am
to know you !!! She's like a snow white, isn't she =)

with you, every day is a happy day

i love weekends, i love how we could both put aside
the world & be together every end of the week =)

breathe, all over again

Felt a lil' blue today 。。。

Never really thought that I would stick to a routine like this every day - waking up in the morning, going to the office, trying to keep myself busy, and get off work early. I thought I was more capable of making myself useful at work but the truth is, I've grown tired of this lifestyle. And am quite disappointed of myself 'cuz I thought am better than this. No one was hard on me, work was never really eating me alive, I've seen peers who were worse off. But, I just couldn't project myself here, in the same spot, even just half a year from now. I remembered a close lecturer of mine told me that, "this pond is too small for a big fish like you" - I was honestly flattered, but I really couldn't see myself fitting anywhere better. Hubby told me that I was prolly too hard on myself, and this work has been pushing my esteem lower, instead of boosting 'em. Am not quite sure of the future, but I don't think I've learnt enough to call it an end just yet. Am always tempted by chances around, but too afraid to make a change, if only I can see through the choices I have, maybe things weren't so complicated itself.

But if only I can do so much

it's a cheerful monday

it would be nice, if everyday is today

♥

i have a million things to say

i felt a lil' over talkative tonight,
i think i have so much to say, so much in mind,
i couldn't lay them out bits by bits,
i wanna say it all out t.o.g.e.t.h.e.r. ....

came back home today, feeling a lil' more light-hearted than those of the other days at work,
i think am starting to get rid of the piles of unfinished works, but i couldn't think straight now and i hope that isn't an illusion. or it could be the boss on the travel? maybe...

facebook. checked.
LeLove. checked.
gmail. checked.
Jnb's Parloir. checked & now am stuck with his lomo photos and his playlist. i have a sudden urge to travel, without plans, without companions, just me, and my blank mind. and still, Boston is the place i wanna be.

right now. at this moment. i frankly hate looking at the updates on my facebook.
i randomly feel like hating someone. don't worry. this isn't going to last longer than a few minutes. i miss road trips. i miss being the only girl on the trip, i miss lady-first hahaha...

i miss being surrounded by darkness and a whole piece of sky with glittering stars, i feel the earth is round and i laid beside the stars...

i miss saying hi to strangers, i miss chasing trains, not the part that i got myself a 100 bucks fine.

am taking a break. and no one is supposed to stop me from doing that =)

BAH !!!

a toast to all the workaholics i've known in life.

- "the-end" is just an illusion -

so stop working, and facebook now hahaha !!!
Just back from work, packed everything nicely into my
huge-heavy-almost-stuffed-to-death-KPMG-bag before I
went outta office, only to realise that I forgot to bring it back
when I reach home. So funny I declared myself a holiday tonight.
Still feeling guilty for enjoying this much-needed break even
after 3-whole-months of endless schedules at work. I think
I am officially killing myself being a workaholic + a
perfectionist, a characteristic enough
to make you older quicker 。。。

Time passes real fast, I felt like I've worked all my life already,
when I've just started working for 3 months. Throughout these 3
months, I've stuffed, stretched, pulled, pushed, squeezed myself for
work, I really felt that it's been too much for me I had really decided
to give up many times in between. But, I told myself to stand further,
because I knew if I quit this time, I will quit forever. I'll always be looking
for a new environment, a new job everytime I felt this is hard. I knew this
would become a habit, a bad one. So, I chose to stand further. So, I wish
that one day I can really grow outta this shit and be different. But, it
really takes a lot of patience and faith to keep holding on. I cried
sometimes because all these had made cracks in my almost-
perfect relationship with my love one, but I am too strong
to give up both, or too weak to lose them. I felt words
are never enough to describe what I've been
through and what I fought within myself
ever since priorities have changed.

I don't hate my job,
I don't hate the stuffs am doing.
I just hate that there's
only 24 hours a day.

Have I grown into a different
person, or is this just me?

I miss reading LeLove all day,
I miss taking random pictures with my phone,
I miss food hunting with hubby & the beach strolls every weekends,
I miss editing pictures & changing the songs to my blog every once in a while,
and everyday I opened a new post, wanted to write something new but
I always end up in my excel worksheets trying to tally figures 。。。
I hadn't blog about my happy graduation at Perth, with the most
beautiful fireworks I've seen in my life, and all the greatest
time I've spent with my family and hubby during their
trip to Perth for my graduation early this February.
I haven't even blog about my lovely new room.
Hubby said I need a new lifestyle, or I'll die
working like this one day 。。。
I don't wanna 。。。

I have the best bf/bff/hubby in the world,
he sent me home-cooked dinner at my office before
he went to a wedding today. I smiled and felt so sweet
when I found a set of fork & spoon nicely wrapped in a
transparent, plastic bag, a facial tissue from guardian,
a box of nicely-cut apples & oranges, a rice box filled
with yummy steamed pork & vege and of
course, a Yeo's green tea !!!
He's right, he's changed a lot for me.
I used to do all that, but I've started to forgot all
the little details and he took over. He folded my dividers,
swept my floor, fixed my laptop, buy me sunflowers, and still
I bring it up to him with my temper when I can't resolve my works.
I realize how unfair this is, right now. He is always the caring one.
Maybe what I've always been missing is the 'balance'.
I need a new lifestyle, or maybe just stop being
this stubborn girl trying to be she-
wants-everything-perfect.
Keep faith.

to my dearest in life

happy birthday, my one & only habibi ♥

right now.

There's this place I really wanted to be right now.

Could I stay awake and dream?

Rambles

it's just so much going on in her mind now 。。。
too much thoughts in this little little brain of hers ♥

The Fish's Notes

。。。

1. Missing having the whole room to myself. Missing 1 whole year in Perth.
2. Random thoughts of writing my little Aussie tale. Too bad, am short of words.
3. Pictures left a lot of unsaid stories. Luggages weren't overweight, memories were.
4. 5 hours flight home seemed lonelier than alone. But still, it's homey once again.
5. Trying to steal some rest while workloads keep piling up. Heading off to KL in 3 days.
6. Learning to grow sunflower in-house. Never kept one perfect outdoor.
7. And then I realised, life's far too brief than just a few lines of short notes ...

The Love Things

If I could put my life aside now,
these are the little things I love to do with you.

The Other End of The Line

I always believe that good things come when you least expect it.

Things like waking up to a really nice weather, bumping into a long-lost
friend, caught with a smile by a lovely stranger, or simply seeing sunflowers !!!
I've been back in my hometown for 3 weeks now & still finding every parts of
it lovely as it used to be. The ocean might not be as clear as Perth but it
still tastes home & I love the clouds & the breeze of hometown wind !!!
I love waking up on my 22 years old bed, I miss it so much ♥

Randomly watched "The Other End of The Line",
and had this instant connection to the love story.



I love the tagline, it says:
"Two Countries, Two Cultures, One Chance at Love"
I love how Bollywood meets Hollywood in such a lovely encounter.
It makes me wonder, if that ever happens in real life.

♥ LeLove

A writer on LeLove said:

。。。So here’s what I want. I want you. I want you to want me. I want you to want me first. I want there to be no one else. I want it to be me. So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to stop dwelling. I’m going to stop watching the phone. I’m going to stop looking for you. I’m going to move on. I’m going to meet people. I’m going to live.

I’m going to forget all the nights I spent wishing you were here. I’m going to forget the times that it was just us. I’m going to forget the things that shouldn’t have happened. I’m going to forget all the times I opened myself up to let you in, to only get hurt in return. I’m going to forget how I felt about you.

Instead, I’m going to subconsciously wait. If you really want me, if you miss me, if you can’t breathe without me, you’ll know. You’ll ring. You’ll text. You’ll visit. And if you drift, if you don’t call, if there’s no texts, if there’s no visits. I’ll know. I’ll know it was never meant to be. And I'll continue moving on & I’m going to walk tall.

But in between everything I will forget, I won’t forget the lesson I’ve learnt. I won’t forget the feeling of loving someone. I won’t forget the feeling of thinking I’m loved. And I will certainly not forget the hell I was put through to learn all this, to become a better person.

I remember you telling me that ‘you’re never the same person twice’. Good. I never want to be this person again. And I am going to do whatever I can to make sure I am the best me I can be. I don’t want to be your best version. This time, it’s for me.

。。。when writings touched.