Monday, August 23, 2010

breathe, all over again

Felt a lil' blue today 。。。

Never really thought that I would stick to a routine like this every day - waking up in the morning, going to the office, trying to keep myself busy, and get off work early. I thought I was more capable of making myself useful at work but the truth is, I've grown tired of this lifestyle. And am quite disappointed of myself 'cuz I thought am better than this. No one was hard on me, work was never really eating me alive, I've seen peers who were worse off. But, I just couldn't project myself here, in the same spot, even just half a year from now. I remembered a close lecturer of mine told me that, "this pond is too small for a big fish like you" - I was honestly flattered, but I really couldn't see myself fitting anywhere better. Hubby told me that I was prolly too hard on myself, and this work has been pushing my esteem lower, instead of boosting 'em. Am not quite sure of the future, but I don't think I've learnt enough to call it an end just yet. Am always tempted by chances around, but too afraid to make a change, if only I can see through the choices I have, maybe things weren't so complicated itself.

But if only I can do so much